Living Past the Days of Ezra
As Josiah so innocently put it the other day, "We are living past the days of Ezra, that he was alive." He was explaining to me the reasons he felt that Hazel was going to live with us for a "really long time."
I tried to tell myself that having a girl would somehow make it a lot easier to go into this time, the time that Hazel is older than 8 weeks. There isn't a way for me to know if it is easier, but it's still hard. Today Hazel laughed for the first time. I was changing her diaper and got her all buttoned back up and gave her some crazy kisses all over her slobbery lips and it must have tickled because she let out this little grunt cough sort of laugh, so cute, mostly because it was a response.
Tonight Hazel and I took a bath together. I held her little bum and she kicked around, her little frog legs loving the warm water. I looked down at her and noticed Ezra's footprint I wear permanently on my left arm, and I remembered that he never really got to the age where he loved the bath.
I can only imagine that these are just the beginning, and it's sorely depressing.
However, I want to give all importance to what we are experiencing with Hazel, the gift that she is, and the love and attention she deserves. It's amazing the amount of healing she has already brought and the happiness we are experiencing, and all the while, remebering Ezra.
I tried to tell myself that having a girl would somehow make it a lot easier to go into this time, the time that Hazel is older than 8 weeks. There isn't a way for me to know if it is easier, but it's still hard. Today Hazel laughed for the first time. I was changing her diaper and got her all buttoned back up and gave her some crazy kisses all over her slobbery lips and it must have tickled because she let out this little grunt cough sort of laugh, so cute, mostly because it was a response.
Tonight Hazel and I took a bath together. I held her little bum and she kicked around, her little frog legs loving the warm water. I looked down at her and noticed Ezra's footprint I wear permanently on my left arm, and I remembered that he never really got to the age where he loved the bath.
I can only imagine that these are just the beginning, and it's sorely depressing.
However, I want to give all importance to what we are experiencing with Hazel, the gift that she is, and the love and attention she deserves. It's amazing the amount of healing she has already brought and the happiness we are experiencing, and all the while, remebering Ezra.
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