Malachi Mourns
Possibly one of the worst aspects of the aftermath of Ezra's death is how I see Malachi and Josiah dealing with their own grief.
Yesterday the guys were working on building a deck from my dad. They had left the drill laying on a pile of wood nearby and Josiah climbed up on the wood and discovered the drill. Before we caught him he had wound a lock of his hair around the bit and it was completely yanked out. When we heard him cry we all dashed out to see what was wrong and I came back in the house, where Malachi was, holding the lock of hair. Malachi knows that we have a lock of Ezra's hair that the nurse at the hospital cut for me. Malachi, looking very worried, said to me, "Josiah died?" If you are a mom, you can imagine my heartache for these kinds of situations.
Malachi asks deep questions about death and bodies and when he will die or when Grandma will die. I feel like his innocence has been robbed of the naivety that majority of children have about death and the fear associated with it. In my mind there are very many adults who do not have to ponder the questions that my 4 year old will be considering now for some time. I hope for his sake that this tragedy becomes strength and that somehow my answers magnify spiritual concepts for him, that he feels love in spite and that ultimately he can experience healing.
We visited with a behavioral specialist about 2 weeks after Ezra died. She was very listening and encouraged Abe and I that from what she could tell we had a very good situation, one that would encourage healing. We have a strong marriage. We have close family. Malachi and Josiah can be sure that we all love them immensely.
Yesterday the guys were working on building a deck from my dad. They had left the drill laying on a pile of wood nearby and Josiah climbed up on the wood and discovered the drill. Before we caught him he had wound a lock of his hair around the bit and it was completely yanked out. When we heard him cry we all dashed out to see what was wrong and I came back in the house, where Malachi was, holding the lock of hair. Malachi knows that we have a lock of Ezra's hair that the nurse at the hospital cut for me. Malachi, looking very worried, said to me, "Josiah died?" If you are a mom, you can imagine my heartache for these kinds of situations.
Malachi asks deep questions about death and bodies and when he will die or when Grandma will die. I feel like his innocence has been robbed of the naivety that majority of children have about death and the fear associated with it. In my mind there are very many adults who do not have to ponder the questions that my 4 year old will be considering now for some time. I hope for his sake that this tragedy becomes strength and that somehow my answers magnify spiritual concepts for him, that he feels love in spite and that ultimately he can experience healing.
We visited with a behavioral specialist about 2 weeks after Ezra died. She was very listening and encouraged Abe and I that from what she could tell we had a very good situation, one that would encourage healing. We have a strong marriage. We have close family. Malachi and Josiah can be sure that we all love them immensely.
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